*As opposed to the more conventional, "A long, long time ago..."
The dog was called Fat Dog and he was hungry, as he always was - since hunger to a dog was the closest thing akin to a heritage.But on this particular day, he felt hungrier than usual.
So he made the call. The call to the wild.
To two particular turtles that you might find familiar, in fact.
The famed and eternal Old "Spaceman" Turtle and, of course, the cool as ice but choosy as fuck Ego Turtle - the matron residents of Forest Chobo-Lan. Both skinny as hell but with an appetite to spare.
Thus, there were Three and The Amazing Food Race begins...11.00 am: Sarawak Laksa
Upon a heated round of discussions, Old Turtle won the rights to choosing breakfast (by way of his obvious seniority. Ego Turtle had vigorously rooted for Foody Goody but Old T won that particular fight in the end) and it was finally decided that the first item on our Eat List was to be Sekama Laksa.
Maybe they meant "Crackpot"?The soup or 'liaw' as the Hokkien call it was just tasteful and nice - not too thick, not too thin - the beehoon was of the right proportions, the prawns were quite fresh and priced at a modest rm3.50 a bowl, it was definitely one of the cheapest laksas in town. Despite the greatness, however, Ego T still vehemently refused to consume his laksa with what he calls the 'the green poison herbs'.
Fat Dog, on the other hand, was just content with eating whatever was placed in front of him :)
Total Spending: RM14.50
12:00 pm: 'Cheng' a.k.a Ah Kok's Babi Soup
After the satisfying late breakfast, it was Ego Turtle's turn to pick the next spot. Without a doubt and due to popular demand, he had gleefully chosen the world famous - he's not exaggerating here, he saw this shop featured on Taiwan's equivalent to Travel and Living - Ah Kok's Carpenter Street Babi Soup.
This task features the guest appearance of a friend called White Dog and his beautiful partner, who were more than happy to assist us on our adventure.
White Dog (R) and his partner
Ego Turtle Modelling With The Noodles
Fat Dog Doing What He Does Best
Animal instincts taking over!
Ego Turtle's Seal of ApprovalNow, for those who aren't familiar with the legend of Ah Kok's Babi Soup, let us enlighten you. There are a set of rules and guideline of sorts that absolutely have to be followed, lest you be royally fucked by the man himself, Ah Kok.
Here a couple of simple guidelines that should be adhered:
- Do not complain. EVER. Ah Kok is naturally bad-tempered on a good day. Don't make it a bad day. For you.
- Just sit and wait for Ah Kok to come and ask for your order. This might take 30-60 mins at times (excluding the time you waited for your table) but you do not EVER approach the man for an order. I'm dead serious.
- Nod your head or say 'yes' to whatever the man says to you. This apparently is not one of those 'consumer is always right' places, okay?
And the most important: Just wait patiently for your table and your food. Rain or shine, big shot or not - everyone's equal when it comes to Ah Kok Babi Soup. But trust us - it'll be worth it in the end :)
Total Spending: RM35.30 (4pax)
1:30 pm: Desserts; Ice-cream
After a fantastic and literally fulfilling lunch, we all decided that we could do with some desserts and hold off on the heavier stuff for later. The general consesus agreed on ice cream and what better place to have that than....
...Sunny Hill Ice Cream!
Is that old skool or what?
Sunny Hill Ice Cream Motto; Where Men Become Boys Again
Standard Sundae
Ice Cream Float
Banana SplitThis establishment has apparently been around for over 20 years. It is operated by the Seventh-Day Aventist Church and it closes from Friday to Saturday in observance to Sabbath.
Sure, you might say that the ice cream's nothing sensational but you can't top the old school qualities on this one. We went for sentimental values on this task and it greatly delivered as we laughed and reminisced old times around the canteen-like seatings.
The perfect remedy to a hot day.
Total Spending: RM10.60
2:30 pm: Indian Food; Briyani, Roti, Naan
The trademark Nasi Briyani with Tandoori Chicken
Game Turtle realizing what he's in for
Naan
Roti Tisu
"Is there nothing left?"
All in all, it was a good satisfying experience. They serve undisputedly the best Tandoori chicken in town, a great Nasi Briyani and is quite possibly the only establishment that serves naan in Kuching.
Good value for money.
Total Spending: RM13.90
3:45 pm: Desserts 2; Ice Kacang, Cold Drinks and Finger Food
Sure, you might say that the ice cream's nothing sensational but you can't top the old school qualities on this one. We went for sentimental values on this task and it greatly delivered as we laughed and reminisced old times around the canteen-like seatings.
The perfect remedy to a hot day.
Total Spending: RM10.60
2:30 pm: Indian Food; Briyani, Roti, Naan
By this time, we were already feeling sorry for ourselves. The ice-cream, if anything, had made us drowsy and the prospect of so much more food to come had omnious implications of us puking our guts out.
Fat D and Old T "resting" their eyes
In other words, we badly needed reinforcements.
Which we thankfully got.
...in the formidable form of Chobo-Lan associate, Game Turtle!
Upon Game T's personal request (he hadn't had lunch and we were glad for that!) and Fat Dog's suggestion, we agreed that our next destination should be Indian-based.
Which brought us to my favourite Indian semi-mamak...
Fat D and Old T "resting" their eyesWhich we thankfully got.
...in the formidable form of Chobo-Lan associate, Game Turtle!Upon Game T's personal request (he hadn't had lunch and we were glad for that!) and Fat Dog's suggestion, we agreed that our next destination should be Indian-based.
Which brought us to my favourite Indian semi-mamak...
In order to conserve ourselves for what's forthcoming later in the day, we decided to limit ourselves on this task. We ordered a Nasi Briyani w/ Tandoori Chicken, Naan and Roti Tisu - the trademarks of the establishment.
The trademark Nasi Briyani with Tandoori Chicken
Game Turtle realizing what he's in for
Naan 
Roti Tisu
"Is there nothing left?"Good value for money.
Total Spending: RM13.90
3:45 pm: Desserts 2; Ice Kacang, Cold Drinks and Finger Food
Still feeling bloated from our food conquests, we decided to go a for a second round of desserts. Seeing as the sun wasn't showing any signs of going the fuck down anytime soon, we headed back to heart of town to one of the most underrated spots in Kuching...
The Song Kheng Hai Food Centre.
As for the finger food; we went for Rojak, Sotong Kangkong and Kong Pia.
Kong Pia and Rojak
Rojak
Sotong Kangkong
The Song Kheng Hai Food Centre.
Ego T opted for the ice-based Ang Tao Peng while the rest went for soothing drinks, all three of which coincidentally included coconuts.
As for the finger food; we went for Rojak, Sotong Kangkong and Kong Pia.
Kong Pia and Rojak
Rojak
Sotong KangkongThe rojak was awesome as was the kong pia but the sotong kangkong was a bit on the lousy side, if we're being honest. The old market-esque ambiance was a definite plus, of course, coupled with the courteous and generous stall-keepers who definitely will not shy themselves away from a conversation.
Chilling and enjoyable.
Total Spending: RM14.60
P.S After the desserts, we were down for the count. Ego Turtle also realized that he'd lost his wallet by then but managed to retrieve it due to the honesty of the workers at Sekama Laksa - with everything still intact - which is pretty damned amazing considering that this is Kuching! Kudos to them.
6:15 PM: Kueh Chap
Chilling and enjoyable.
Total Spending: RM14.60
P.S After the desserts, we were down for the count. Ego Turtle also realized that he'd lost his wallet by then but managed to retrieve it due to the honesty of the workers at Sekama Laksa - with everything still intact - which is pretty damned amazing considering that this is Kuching! Kudos to them.
6:15 PM: Kueh Chap
We all cooped at Fat D's house for the time being to recuperate from our combustible stomachs. By the time we recovered, it was nearing dinnertime and Fat Dog was feeling hungry. Since it was once again down to the original Three (White Dog and Game Turtle had yielded to the challenge earlier), we decided to choose one last dinner spot each to cap off The Challenge.
Fat Dog, feeling ravenous, chose the inevitable.
Poh Kwong Park Kueh chap!
Our very own Ah Beng Turtle would be extremely familliar with this particular place since it's located at his own backyard!
Kueh chap... in all its glory
Accompanied by the famous rm 0.90 "fresh soya bean"
The gravy is definitely good enough to be had without anything else but the accompaniment of the stall's famous sambal sauce makes the two an irresistable combination. Couple that with the kueh, assorted pork meat and the odd chicken feet or two - it makes this particular kueh chap incomparable to any other.
In another unrelated story: due to excessive amount of liquid we had to consume throughout the day, Ego Turtle felt nature calling upon leaving the stall.
And we take a commercial break to present you a Moment of Bantering Between Turtles.
Hey, Ah Beng - this one's for you.
Does that fence look familliar or what? ;)
Total Spending: RM7.70
7:00 pm: Kolo Mee
Of course, no challenge is quite complete without our world-renowned Kolo Mee.
Since it was Ego Turtle's turn to pick, he promptly chose the famous K.Y Cafe Kolo Mee located in the Sekama commercial area.
..and it was fan-friggin-tastic, if he might say so himself. He thoroughly enjoyed his kolo mee (added with a dash of red pork oil, hence the reddish ambiance) even though he felt sick to the stomach after his day-long food excursions.
Nice and oily.
Total Spending: RM5.80
7:30 pm: Meat; Pork and Lamb
Happy Valley a.k.a Jiwang Valley.
Still stuffed from before and considering that we had to play Futsal in a mere hour's time, we limited ourselves to 1 set of BBQ Lamb, 1 set of BBQ Pork, 1 set of Three-layered Pork and a plate of Ladies finger in Sambal Sauce.
BBQ pork
BBQ Lamb
Three-layered pork a.k.a "San-chang bak"
Fat Dog, feeling ravenous, chose the inevitable.
Poh Kwong Park Kueh chap!Our very own Ah Beng Turtle would be extremely familliar with this particular place since it's located at his own backyard!
Kueh chap... in all its glory
Accompanied by the famous rm 0.90 "fresh soya bean"
The gravy is definitely good enough to be had without anything else but the accompaniment of the stall's famous sambal sauce makes the two an irresistable combination. Couple that with the kueh, assorted pork meat and the odd chicken feet or two - it makes this particular kueh chap incomparable to any other.
In another unrelated story: due to excessive amount of liquid we had to consume throughout the day, Ego Turtle felt nature calling upon leaving the stall.
And we take a commercial break to present you a Moment of Bantering Between Turtles.
Hey, Ah Beng - this one's for you.
Does that fence look familliar or what? ;)Total Spending: RM7.70
7:00 pm: Kolo Mee
Of course, no challenge is quite complete without our world-renowned Kolo Mee.
Since it was Ego Turtle's turn to pick, he promptly chose the famous K.Y Cafe Kolo Mee located in the Sekama commercial area.
..and it was fan-friggin-tastic, if he might say so himself. He thoroughly enjoyed his kolo mee (added with a dash of red pork oil, hence the reddish ambiance) even though he felt sick to the stomach after his day-long food excursions.
Nice and oily.
Total Spending: RM5.80
7:30 pm: Meat; Pork and Lamb
Upon Old Turtle's insistence, our last items for the challenge was purely meat-based. Now, if you're Kuchingnite looking for cheap BBQ meatstuff at night - you know there's only place to go to.
Happy Valley a.k.a Jiwang Valley.Still stuffed from before and considering that we had to play Futsal in a mere hour's time, we limited ourselves to 1 set of BBQ Lamb, 1 set of BBQ Pork, 1 set of Three-layered Pork and a plate of Ladies finger in Sambal Sauce.
BBQ pork
BBQ Lamb
Three-layered pork a.k.a "San-chang bak"We've run out of words to describe anything, really. It's been "amazing" this, "fantastic" that, "awesome" this, "satisfying" that - so let's just leave this one tagged at "the fucking shit", yeah?
Total Spending: RM28.20
Conclusion: Three Very Uncomfortable Stomachs
...but it honestly was enjoyable, all round. The food grandtotalled to about RM138.60 (for 3-4pax, including 4 red bulls) for a whole day's worth of eating and that's value for money for three to four very satisfied stomachs. We could've gone to more spots but due to time - and stomach - constraints, this was all we ended up with at the end of the day.
In terms of satisfaction and value, we hereby declare the The Amazing Food Race a great success! :)
Total Spending: RM28.20
Conclusion: Three Very Uncomfortable Stomachs
...but it honestly was enjoyable, all round. The food grandtotalled to about RM138.60 (for 3-4pax, including 4 red bulls) for a whole day's worth of eating and that's value for money for three to four very satisfied stomachs. We could've gone to more spots but due to time - and stomach - constraints, this was all we ended up with at the end of the day.
In terms of satisfaction and value, we hereby declare the The Amazing Food Race a great success! :)
